Skip menus

And the world ducked

Was it a slip of the tongue when commander in chief of the America First Committee threatened to destroy Iranian treasures of culture? It didn't take long after Donald silently admitted that he acts with limited knowledge of the laws he serve under, and that he has a cabinet of yes-sayers, before he got into even more problems. Surprisingly it wasn't the Aristocaps, but an email from a lawyer at Pisney Enterprises. She had spotted tweets with the word ducked following the name Donald. If it goes viral it would tie Donald and Pisney forever thanks to the way Google handles web content. Pisney with a pure view of the joy in children and a winning concept involving children's dreams clearly don't want involvement by the 3-year in the White box.

Fake News actually has some good news for the president. There is no need to improve sun tan hiding at the golf course. Apocalypse, an arcade game manufacturer in Utah, will donate an unknown amount of dollars to Donald's double quack bonanza. Their soon to come pinball machine named Full Tilt is a best effort ever experience, and with recent events in mind they decided to prerelease it. CEO Lucas Cedifer explains

— First we were worried about playing with the second in rank. Last time it happened we faced a terrible world quarrel. For cross bar people the second coming has a very special meaning so we were afraid of a second world fuckup.
— But Pong happened long ago, didn't it?
— Higinbotham was no game expert. His mythology was created in his head, and his game was simply inability in production. He was a looser all the time, and has no meaning in his context.
— So what makes your game the ultimate one?
— You can't cheat by tilting the machine, it does the tilting by itself. We have the real key elements of the Middle East. Oil, the reason why the region draws attention and also what seemingly keeps it safe, is seen in the extremely dated American Wurlitzer 1015 bubble tube around the backglass. Surrounding Presidents Donald and Mickey are scoreboards for virtual cash, media bonus and goofups.
— A duel?
— ... and bumper and slingshot areas named after regional players. Novichoks, Erdogs, Assadsinators, Gobillies, Distractors, you get the idea.
— And what do the targets mean?
— Nothing special, just points. Everytime time something is triggered the single lit target changes. Hit a lit target and the machine's hidden earthquake becomes active. You have to counter tilt quickly or loose flippers. During this phase points are counted downwards.
— What about multiball?
— Maybe we went to far. We actually extended the theme back to 1980 and let every week then be a ball on the board now. The goal is to get them safely out of the game, just like life always is.
— And how are points rewarded during multiball?
— Points go to the competitor with most media points.
— Fantastic! How do you get media points?
— They're mostly soldered at the circuitry board, but they can be acquired at fakenews.com too.
— Sounds like a crazy looner's game, spiced with frequent internet posts, huh?
— Quite so.

Will USA or Israel implement the permanent interstate squabble first? Hopefully none of them.