Iran president threatens US with Alexander the Great
President Hassan Rouhani from Iran has vowed to take revenge on the US. In an interview given to BBC, he claimed that a group of highly skilled necromancers have promised him the resurrection of Alexander the Great. Armed with this promise, Hassan started gathering up a formidable army of studs in order to provide the ghost of Alexander with the strength he will need to fight the US army.
In response to this threat, President Trump set up a meeting with the alltime American hero, Clint Eastwood. Clint Eastwood has declared that the horses of Alexander The Great are a great threat for the railroads in America, considering the fact that 100 men armed with swords could easily overrun a slow moving train in the prairie of Iowa.
As the debate regarding the best way to tackle the threat heated up in the White House, Alexander the Great started tweeting on Donald Trump tweeter page, saying that he is coming and that he plans on regaining his empire. In response, Donald Trump threatened Alexander The Great with new sanctions over Iran, saying that he will ban all oil exports from this country. Alexander The Great laughed, and said that his horses don´t run on oil, and that all America's might can´t stand against a welltrained army of the dead.
To this new threat, Donald Trump had no reply. Apparently, he took Clint Eastwood on a trip to Iowa in order to set up the defensives. Unfortunately for him, the native Americans from this region are decided to take the side of Alexander the Great.
During all this, President Hassan has remained silent. Private sources tell us that he is now working on a plan to resurrect the ghost of Xerxes, but he is afraid that the 300 will side with Donald Trump.